Confessions of an introvert sitting around a table with friends

Sometimes when I’m sitting
With friends over
Lunches or dinners
Or when I make an exception
To revoke my religious stance
Of gulping down breakfast
I listen intently amidst conversations
Making a mental note of all that was said
And I’m just amazed how people can just
Talk, effortlessly
Second nature to them
And they make meaning to words
Like they we painting pictures
Or taking photographs
As simple as that
And when I come to a point where
I’m telling myself
“permission to speak”
Cause I thought of something funny
Or something interesting to say
It seemed good when logic
Was the coming on of colors
Of a completed rubic cube
When I open my mouth to speak
It’s as if I’m back to square one
With the cube
And make a fool of myself
I thought I had it figured out
But whenever I speak
My mind falls asleep.

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