Reflections on Plunging Into the Sea Of Fulltime Ministry

I guess I have to confess that at times I’m an addict. I’m addicted to Facebook. I spend hours on it. But is this something that I want to ramble on? No I’m just stating actually.

But social networks are fun if you just lay aside all the negative side effects it can bring. People, there is a fun side to it.

This post has nothing really on the side of how we are to look at social networks, but i just wanted to have a platform to talk about some other issue really. One good thing about Facebook is it helps you connect with old friends and i’ve recently had the chance to reconnect with some of my childhood classmates. It’s great, and just the reconnection floods a lot of good memories. Really good stuff.

What kind of question would you ask someone (a childhood friend) you have not met in a long time? The big answer to that is “Hey, haven’t met you for ages!!! How is life…Have you settled down/ Are you married?”

I always get a kick at answering this question but it does make me think sometimes. It does have a tendency to bother me sometimes. Not particularly the “are you married” question but more literally something that make me think where am i really headed in my life.

I’m close to thirty now but this question lingers in my mind constantly. Do you ask the same questions?

I guess the reason I ask it is because as of now, I don’t have anything to show for all the journey I’m going through. By that I mean concrete stuff. Elaborating on that again I mean stuff that we can be proud of. A good job, a good position in a job, having a job that pays you a good amount of cash, and the list would go on and on. I guess we all have that sort of want lingering in each of our hearts. I know I do.

I guess plunging into fulltime ministry and getting trained in biblical studies, the pat to a good life is not always a smooth ride. I have constant bout about going through it all the time. In Malaysian context, well it also depends on which denomination or church one is a member of, getting yourself involved in fulltime ministry is hardly the way to go.

I’m not at all telling you that it’s not the way to go, I’m just trying to convey the parody of what goes on the mind and emotions of someone getting himself immersed in the waves and currents of ministry. I have to be honest that, I do enjoy it but sometimes it does bug me. Well life will never be a bed of roses.

Just a little note on the side, ministers in my own church domination, especially those living in rural conditions hardly have enough money to live on. I cannot imagine how those with families go through a year struggling on finances. This is a complex issue to discuss as of now, but I hope to post more on this particular thing when I do have some concrete understanding on the whole issue at hand.

On the side of this though, I get really irritated at some hot shot leader in the church board who says that we don’t pay these pastors more because we want to teach them. Sarcastically, I applaud these kind of antics. Smart people at best, smart as donkeys.

With all that going on, i have to constantly remind myself of the decision that I’ve made, as well as countless other young and bright future pastors who are taking the plunge into the rapids.

As i sit and reflect on this, the things I own are just my clothes, my accumulating stash of books and two guitars (one of which I still own my mum money for..I’ll pay soon, I promise). With that I ask myself, am i headed anywhere? Is there really a destination ahead of me? The journey in following Jesus started when i was 20. It’s been 9 years since then. I worry of what is ahead. But nonetheless exited at what is to come.

I do have my aspirations and all that but lets just work on what we have now.

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