Alone

Alone is a feeling of many surrounding me but no one knows me. Alone is when a sea of faces pass by without a care in the world. For them I guess I’m just another face that makes its way bypassing their existence. Alone is when talking faces and the words that come out of their mouths seems like a language is makes no sense. They are just rackets of noises, buzzing and bashing the what was supposed to be meaningful.

Alone is a context that surrounds us when in a crowd we feel unwanted and left out. Alone is nothing more than existence without roots and the sense of community, where love is felt and experienced, where longings gets lost in the embrace of loving comfort and acceptance.

Alone is when you are different and not what people call normal. Alone is when all you see of yourself as nothing more than a lost soul living among smiling people, those who look happy and have what you don’t; a life. Alone is when you want and you cannot have and you think that having them makes for the best change that you could get. Alone is a feeling, a longing, a context, a mystery.

Alone is sometimes a period and it does not presuppose a foreverness that would not go disappear. Sometimes it takes longer to get out of and sometimes the period takes only a short time to climb out of. But then it’s in this time you see more than just beauty parading before. You taste the bitter end of longing needs and crippled feelings. Maybe I’m saying goodbye to this period or should I say I’ve said my goodbyes already. At the doorway that reads “exit.” I scale what was my surrounding and take a step away.

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