Projecting My Ideal Self Over My True Self

People are made up different personalities. Regardless of how diverse our personalities are, we have this inner longing of being known. Why? I guess we have this probing need seared deep in our souls, deep in our very being.

I’m an introvert, at best but, though I’m not a fan of crowds or being in a room full of people I have to say that I too, in my ‘introvertness’ there is a longing to project myself for people to see. We hope for radical acceptance from people.

But in the way we project who we are, the deal about revealing the self for all to see for radical acceptance are just masked we make ourselves believe. I want to reveal myself, but I don’t really want to do so because then I open myself for radical rejection. So to combat that, I project another front of me that might look appealing. The creation of my ideal self. The person who I really want to be for others.

We do this almost unintentionally. Having a Facebook space creates a platform for this. Having a blog creates a platform for this. Having a twitter page creates a platform for this. Writing a resume of your qualification creates a platform for this. Society as a whole creates a platform that patterns us to think in a way that if someone really knew who we were, they would not be really happy to meet you. What you have to do is get yourself polished to be accepted.

And so with all this critique laden above, I too am a slave to projecting my ideal self. Built in with a need to be known and accepted as I am, I too am falling and riding the tide of not wanting to reveal who I really am. In my blog, I post stuff that make me look good, posts that make me look intelligent and witty and funny and philosophical (well at least I think I did my best to project those). I guess I should not beat myself up too much because we all are doing that in various degrees.

When we are raving mad, we simply say “I don’t care what other people think,” but inside it sounds more like “I care a whole f@#% much!”

When we are broken hearted we say “God has a plan for me.” But we are actually saying “What plan!!! What Plan!!!”

When someone dear to us passes away and we grieve sometimes we try to comfort ourselves with “He is in a better place” or “God took he because he loves her so much” and we mask what we really feel.

Well I’m not as much encouraging anyone to bear all on Facebook but rather saying that the viable platform like Facebook becomes a commentary of how we live in the real world also. Wanting to be known yet not wanting to be known. We create a dimension of irony that is hard to really understand.

We want to be known. We want to reveal who we are. To be accepted radically.

But we don’t really want to be known. We don’t want to reveal who we really are. We fear radical rejection.

And so this is me apparently. The ‘me’ that want you to accept me for who I am as I want to be known, not who I really am for that matter. So I hope you like what you read and discover about me because I took time to create all this and putting out my best front. Well just those things that I think would not make me look stupid or dumb.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s