In moments when someone is in anguish and pain, the last things that a person needs is advise. Some advises border on the lines of insensitive words being spoken out. Pain does not seek for answers, though it sounds as thought it wants it. The remedy of pain are not rationalized arguments that sound logical but more to the art of listening.
To me this is something that the Christian must learn to do. Pain speaks a language that is not pleasant to hear. Sometimes they sound depressingly deadly. Sometimes skeptical. Sometimes wallowing in self pity. Sometimes overtly focused on the self. But the best thing to do is just listen and if necessary, when given the opportunity to talk, ask questions rather than advise.
Patience is needed. Or rather patience is vital in conversing with pain. If this is so then listening is the other thing that goes along with patience.
One needs wisdom when asked to give advise. Sure we learn this by many errors. That’s why we need words like “sorry” and “forgive me” when we deal with such issues. Sometimes our so called objective and truthful opinions as good as they may sound to us are like poisoned darts to the one suffering in pain.
You might ask what point of authority inhave in speaking of these things. I confess that I’m not a know expert if one seeks authoritative reference. But what I do know is that I’ve had my share of conversations with people who go through pain. I also deal with it myself. So that might be in someways the reference point I build upon.
So when put into a situation that forces us to talk to another person concerning pain, one needs to be patient. One needs to listen. One needs at times to just be there, and suffer together with the one going through it.