When I didn’t have to worry about myself

Sometimes I find myself in a maze. It’s the sort of feeling like you’re wandering round in circles. There are times when I feel that, I should have made it already by now and yet most of the time I feel like a beggar. Many who are my age and probably younger have made it but not me. Bad luck maybe? Bad omen maybe? A curse maybe? I can do all the blaming but that would not change anything.

This afternoon, I thought, why not, I’ll have my lunch. I usually skip my lunch (and breakfast) and just take dinner. I’m not on a diet, just something that comes along when I went through my depression. It’s become a habit now. The good thing is my old pants fit.

While I was having lunch, I was just observing people at the shop. It’s an old place, messy and all. I mean what do you expect from just a small stall beside the road. It’s not Starbucks. But as I was observing the people there, I felt a warm serenity washing over me. These were normal people. They didn’t care about standards. They just wanna live. They didn’t care about status or stuff people wore. They just wanted a meal. Such simplicity.

Sometimes being around simple people makes me comfortable. Sometimes being around people who don’t care about status makes me able to appreciate myself better. For a few minutes or so, I was in a place where it didn’t matter what I was, or what I had. I was just a normal human being among the others. Just sitting and enjoying my meal. I wish life was more like those few short minutes all the time. I wish it were.

4 thoughts on “When I didn’t have to worry about myself

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