We cannot change what others think about us, but we can change what we think about ourselves.
We cannot steal another’s memories about us, but we can try to remember others differently.
As much as we’d like to erase the past, we are wired to remember, and the past will always be there, coming and reminding us in flashbacks.
But it’s better to not let the past rule our future. Let the past be cemented in flashbacks, but not embodied realities that determine whatever may come next. Like when the past tells us about our destiny.
To remember rightly the past, is to know that time is something fluid and moving, and whatever was is now buried, we mourn it’s passing and move on.
We cherish it’s short blessing and make toasts to what made our lives once filled with joys. We hurt whenever we think about how painful some ordeals were. The fact is that the past is not just filled with one form of narrative, or one theme. It’s mixed with both good times and bad. To remember rightly is to hold both these tensions together. Not everything in the past was a mistake, made by us or others. We redeem some form of the past by remembering that some were indeed good. And whatever was that hurt become goads that help us change into better people.