the ‘truth’ about a scar

Genähte Wunde am Rücken, vier Stiche. (sewed w...
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What is hurt? Is it done by physical violence, a hitting or stabbing that causes the body to feel pain? I guess hurt can be that, when the body feels the rushing gush of information that comes from the brain, and tells the nerves to convey that there is something wrong. Hurt can be physical, and that would sometimes imply; what degree of hurt? By that I mean, some heal and do not leave a mark. some, which are far more serious leaves a serious wound, something like a knife cutting deep into the skin. This would definitely leave a scar.

Some hurts are emotional. In metaphorical sense, they work just like the above but the scars are glaring. It’s the memory that conjures the past to reemerge back up. Memories make an old pain new, in a sense that it mutates into a hideous wound again and again. These types of hurt take more time to heal. And on a sad note, they mostly never.

What control do we have on this type of hurt? Some succumb to the nagging memories that keep conjuring up. To somehow mend this wound, the hard thought of forgiveness must be called up. Why is it so hard to forgive? It comes back to memories again, memories that keep playing like that movie you watched and now gets played back in DVD format, because you bought the damn thing. We buy DVDs of movies we want to replay again so that we might remember, so that we don’t forget. Because we love the show or movie or whatever.

But why is it we love memories that conjure past hurt? We constantly play it back and somehow relive the previous events. That almost always relinquish the space for wounds to heal. I guess the tough act to forgive can bring gradual healing. It is applied each time a memory occurs. Memories are hard to erase because it’s somehow stored deep in our brain. We never do forget. I guess for hurts to heal and leave it at the state of just a scar takes daily amounts of forgiveness. Stated and reapplied in rote. I guess it never will stop, forgiveness is sometimes a never ending battle. But eventually enough forgiveness will leave the scar to heal and remain at that and not to become a gapping wound that will not heal.

I wrote this piece dated May 22, 2011. I gave a new title to it because reading through it again ,it does give the impression that the metaphor of the scar has the elements of “hurt, memories, forgiveness and healing” embedded in the original title I gave to the piece. I also did some editing to it as well.

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