good guy, bad guy, stay guy

Image by NR Acampamentos via Flickr

There is a statement, on Facebook that read,

Some girls claim they want a good guy, but when they meet one, he’s “just a friend.” Then they fall for the player and get their heart broken. Then have the nerve to say “All guys are the same.”

I saw some guys posting it. My best hunch here is some of those who posted this statement up have been in the position of the “good guy.” So there is an unmistakable feeling of hurt there. So let me pose some though and reflection on this statement. Try and deconstruct some misconceptions embedded in it as well.

The first word offers some good insight. The one who came up with the statement used the word “some” and not “all.” He obviously thought that there are girls out there that do not fit the what he is ranting about.

So there is another group of girls who doesn’t want a “good guy” but want a “guy.” And that “guy” become “just a friend.” And she falls in love with whatever guy (good or bad) and still come with the same general conclusion when a break-up occurs. Well, let’s say a pretty bad break up.

But untill they meet the one who makes an effort to do something about it, being with the girl, they will always hold the general statement loosely, “that all guys are the same.” Trust me, even those who are good are in some ways bad also. It is just the degree of “bad” they have might be less.

Obviously the “good guy” also like the “bad guy” did not make any effort to stay or do anything about their feelings for the girl. Some “good guys” just accept defeat too soon, and the “bad guys” break hearts and leaves.

What the girl needs is not a “good guy,” (player, well that’s out of the question) what they need really is one who makes an effort to stay or do something about what he feels.

There is another statement that I used to counter the one above,

If someone wan’t to be a part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it. So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.

Anyway, I do like statements but sometimes they speak about one issue. Sometimes we need to deconstruct them and mess them out a little to make our own wisdom from them. Well, that’s if you don’t know how a statement came into being.

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