“how you ever got this far in life is a mystery that still baffles me.”

there are many ways to introduce yourself,
tell someone about what you do,
don’t hold back if it has something to do with,
something called status,
or if it says you earn a salary with 5 or maybe more figures,
better still if you’ve done something,
that’s worth highlighting,
or tell someone about what you own,
like the posh automobile you parked outside,
or the house on Rich-man’s street,
complete with a swimming pool,
and a backyard that would be approved by the EPL football association,
just don’t hold back if you do have all these things,
because first impressions count,
and they count a lot.

But if you don’t have all the above,
and nothing to show,
in terms of a well paying job,
accolades or status,
or owning stuff,
still don’t hold back,
because there is such a thing as,
making up stories,
it wouldn’t hurt to lie,
a little (or say out your confession later) right?
cause first impressions count,
and they count a lot.

You either got it,
or you don’t,
or simply not good at lying,
so for this person,
what can he say to prove his worth?
just the truth would do,
i guess,
but what is the truth,
about me or the next person in line of making first impressions?

So if you would meet me,
and i would get to introduce myself,
i’d tell you that,
and tell you my name,
and the job I don’t have,
but i do have dreams,
which i don’t think i’d achieve,
or that i was just out of luck,
and i’d try even if i can’t,
and tell you about the countless times i gave up,
or flunked,
and that i was good at something,
but others don’t think much about it,
or i guess it’s just me,
my own infatuation,
about what i think i was good at but i probably sucked,
or that i enjoy company,
but i spend much of my time alone,
cause most of the pictures i have,
had only me in them,
but i was ok with that,
and you’d probably ask me why i don’t smile,
it’s probably my crooked teeth,
or i haven’t honed the craft of smiling, some have it, i don’t,
but i am sometimes happy,
even if i don’t smile or laugh,
and the expression doesn’t show,
on my face,
i don’t know why,
but that’s just normal for me.
I’d tell you i use public transportation,
heading from here to there or wherever,
and i sit with people who have,
smelly armpits or they were sweating like crazy,
cause they walked in the heat and waited for hours,
for the train that kept on being delayed,
oh why am i complaining anyway cause i guess,
i smell just as bad as them.

I mean, i’d like to just state sometimes,
what is obviously me,
that sometimes or probably on most cases,
i can’t possibly be trusted.
when i try to introduce myself,
i’d like to tell you what i know about me,
as to know if acceptance was something real,
if you knew beforehand what i was capable of,
and what i wasn’t.
But on most cases,
and almost always that is,
i’d rather tell you about what is good for you to know,
and if there isn’t much,
i would try to make up stories,
while i tuck the person,
i meet everyday,
in front of the mirror,
staring back at me and think,
“how you ever got this far in life is a mystery that still baffles me.”


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