Not even trying

you made me feel like blood and rain
the taste of bittersweet remains
empty hollow lonesome sorrow.

I drove like a mindless driver
When I found out what I already knew
The significance of an open secret
Plain confusion meshed in simple explanation.

When a blind man was brought his sight
And the next day lose it
That should spell the obvious
Like rockets exploding before flying.

And sometimes I’d laugh at my behavior
I need no sitcoms to bathe in for sheer amusement
I am my own jester
I am my own beautiful crazy magician master.

I boder the line of insanity taps
when I manage to walk
But I’m at my sober self when I’m faced
with only myself to talk.

If need be to disappear
It is not the act of killing myself
Cause even in the existance of being fully alive
Sometimes feel like the very act of dying
And that my friend is doing it without even trying.