This piece (I want to call it some sort of poem but it does not fit the category) is somewhat inspired by “The Words.”
his anger was somewhere else
though it seemed to project itself in his lashings at objects
whatever it was that was within his reach
but what he wanted to reach was not in the present interior
it was somewhere
in which he could not tweak
he could not change
he could not touch
nor feel with his hands
and all he wanted
all he longed for
was not to run
but for him to be real
what we so desire to project,
but what comes out,
less than the amount.
This is the dilemma that we face in church sometimes. How much of our disappointments can they handle. Worst still if you are a leader in that particular church. This is the whole hoax that people feel being a christian is. We call ourselves a community but deny that we can feel like crap and we tell each other to suck it up and just keep quiet about it. I really feel a bit annoyed at this attitude. Just this once, i tell those in prayer meeting i felt lousy and of all the time i faked it from January until now, what do i get????
“You are not supposed to do that.”
Wow. That really kills my openness. That literally killed of any desire to open up in the future. Come on, are leaders always to feel strong, know where they are going, know what to do? Sometimes when we wear the mask too much it really sucks. This generation now want authenticity. They want honesty. The dangerous sense of being community and not a performance Christianity.
So much for opening up. I just feel crappy now.
Continue reading “Let's Fake It… Let God Know But Wear A Mask Infront of People”
I’ve been thinking lately about authenticity…about how we as followers of Jesus are really authentic in our confessional practices. What i mean here is, in praying, in reading the bible, in church, well thats the whole context that i am talking about.
Like, sometimes when we are in a prayer meeting, and it gets really really boring. We hear people speaking of things that dont really connect, like they are going round and round. And nothing is really going on great. Does this sound normal? Ok, now we are asked to pray about something, a certain issue or a need. People looking rather dour and pale and lifeless when the explanation of the prayer matter is shared. There is no convincing stare of interest.
Continue reading “I Have Been Thinking”