Lost cause

Repay me now with what i have not,
The things that I said I lost,
Though there is talk of second chances,
They are but mere pretensions,
All words,
No soul,
No life.

I might want the world to sing,
A tune fit for my embracing,
But it is something one should cease to ask,
There might be others who needs the melody more than me,
I for one know this world is vast.

My rage is projected crimson,
But yet your cheeks are colored rouge,
My anger feels like a pent up volcano awaiting explosion,
And you just give me a slip listing out medications.

So let me smile in this narrative irony,
Of warriors riding “my little ponies,”
In my hysterical applause,
For I have become another lost cause.


“Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than the stories and the people we’re quoting.” John Green (H/T: pageflirt)

I try so hard to be objective in my own thoughts when I read something and strand them into an essay or a post to give an overview of a certain argument with the intention that when I finally reach the conclusion, where  I think it’s only at the last stance of my overall comprehension of the overview, and only then state my case, I probably read myself more into what I thought as an overview of a subject in the words of people I quoted telling you what they thought about this and that and how they view things, I guess in that it’s just the scholarly way of telling people…the overview is actually the larger details of what is encapsulated in my conclusions.

And observing what I wrote above, I used the full-stop only once and apart from interpreting the quotation which I found fascinating, I never heard of John Green or know what’s he is all about (who is he anyway?). It simply tells the fact that I love the quote cause it tells me more about me rather than the wisdom of John Green.

Tone deaf

The person sitting next to me,
Sings in an utterly detuned melodic key,
A maddening experience to be in,
Sitting with someone who is tone deaf,
He murders the music,
And renders the atmosphere chaotic,
He slays the mood of exquisite,
And conjures reflection exilic,
This leaves me in despair,
Because I would rather enjoy,
And bask in melodies,
Digesting in me,
Quite reflection.
But it does make me forget,
As much as he is tone deaf,
I’m almost always in debt of freedom,
And of soul.

Perfected space

5-6 days a week, most of us spend it to produce, and create, stuff close to perfection. Anything less is put to the drawing board, to be reworked and critiqued meticulously.

We drive through jammed packed roads, take public transportation (trains, buses and the subway), clock in our shifts and sit at the desk, or do our chores on platforms wielding tools and whatever in the space we call work.

We clock out and come back home or to rooms and unload if we can by resting, conversation with friends, spend time with family, go out for a drink with buddies, shopping if we still have energy- all in the name of unloading from the space we call work.

And that routine continues, day in and day out, 5-6 days a week.

And on the 7th day when most would have it called a day of rest, and some of us go to Church (as I do), it seems sometimes we play out the same routine of the 5-6 days a week.

Perfection is still the name of the game. Something goes wrong with the P.A. system, or the projector is somehow being its unresponsive self when it is supposed to, or the one on the platform says something not quite to our soothing, a seemingly long pause by the one praying because he/she is at lost of words to speak to God (or maybe for the congregation to hear), children being their normal self and making noise and crying, and in all that chaotic mention of things happening people look back and shake their heads- and here I think, holy space means perfected space like the 5-6 days we encounter every week.  

The idea of Sabbath, is supposed to be rest and doing something different from what the 5-6 days we go through. But worship as we call it, becomes like a show and perfection is the name of the game. And the idea of Church being a community, a gathering of people who share the same belief, becomes more like a place where sharing is put to the side. Individualism takes center stage in most cases in gestures that says, “Please respect silence.” (Not that I have anything to discredit why it is needed cause there should be silence when need arises).

But the question I’m posing here is that, why does Church feel like we’re running the perfection game all over again? Where is the space for community? Or has the idea of community something of a foreign concept when it is supposed to define what the word “church” means?  Then what is Church supposed to be if it ceases the community element?



Somewhere in the margins,
With words running plenty,
I talked about me,
When it was all about You!

You changed me with grace and it was unmistakable,
Taking on a 360 degree curve,
Yet I took the wheels
pushing you to the curb!

My name was in bold,
All capital letters,
I put you in numbers,
That marked all my footnotes!

But how can I say now,
That I share in your story,
Though I mentioned your name,
I was the gospel!

Give me

SPECT nuclear imaging of the heart, short axis...
Image via Wikipedia

Give me a heart made of stone
so I cannot feel, be pricked or pierced
So i don’t have to feel pain
pleading in the rain

Give me a heart like towering mountains
When i get hit I stand firm
and unmoved by words
because I could echo them back with the same kind of vengeance

Give me a heart that doesn’t pant
So i can run and not grow tired
and not stop for air because i have to
To outrun the maze this crazy life is into
and scoff at it catching up behind me

Give me a heart that’s unresponsive
in an explosion filled with truckloads of explosives
detonated to annihilate all sense of being
I come unscratched and unfazed
Alive but with a conscious sense of numbness

Give me all that, and i cease to be human
I cease to know a sense of injustice
like something is wrong
Give me all that, and I become less of a person
a walking zombie if you may
a lifeless plague of a being

Give me less pain i say,
I don’t understand it
why boomerang questions unanswered
Sturdy foundations seems like uneven surfaces
hope eludes and feels like no more than pretty fairy tales
A ‘happy ever after’ dilutes reality
like a mirage
it plays with the mind consumed with thirst

So give me…give me
give me less of a person
less of contemplated reason

but then again do i want this?

Human progress

When the perception
About the ultimate charter
That people believe in
Become the platform
That we call
The exact definition
Of what it means to be successful
Is the thing that one ascribes to
an image
Confounded by those blessed
Being placed in an environment
As to having the necessary educational infusion
Speak a certain language
Uttering words of aliens
Filled with isms
Or do we actually miss em
When we talk in human terms?
And yet we say there’s a truth about diversity
But what we mean by that is the division of class
And also the idea of equality
But often get our minds in the chorus of corporate
It’s funny that the ones that we think can make reasonable
Sense out of anything
Are the ones we watch on tv
The rich and the famous
But these people are those we pay to be our puppets
But they wield the same magic
And we all become the same thing we thought we created.
Now some would trump their bets and tell you
That religion is the way to solve all problems
And it probably is I guess
But I’m no prophet to yell this out to you
But then the way it’s portrayed
Where it teaches one to escape
Another to blow themselves
To have a roomful of harems
Or get all nasty when someone has a different perspective
But they recite stuff about loving their neighbors
Now what’s that all about
When we can’t even talk about things
To just be civil?
And then that’s another issue at hand
Cause who makes who to be what it’s suppose to mean?
Cause each and every culture
Has beauty embedded in
And of course if so they practice stuff
That deprives human rights
And yes that sort of system should be in somewhat
Blotted out
But don’t go going around and judge
Make dogs of those we don’t understand…
With all the progress
That’s mounting around everywhere
Sometimes spells like recess
To convictions of what’s supposed to
But we don’t really give a damn
And so we sit and some talk
About the great thing
That’s happened
It’s true
That the world is definitely flat
But the minds of depraved humans
Gets bloated fat
Cause greed, and me-isms,
We kill the right people
Kiss the shallow reflection
Of this thing we call
The very definition
Of human progress.

I have a small mind with a very small perspective on things but sometimes I love to think about epic themes to write about in poetry form or my own brand of what not poetry. It’s more like hip hop kinda stuff but it’s fun to see how it gets shaped to whatever that comes to mind. It’s always fun to write about big ideas and themes but I’ll need much more learning to get there. I wonder how this would sound if I tried to speak it out. But that will need practice.

Loving an Idea When I Practice Something Else: Community

A church in France being fired at during the F...
Image via Wikipedia

I love the that people now see the implication of church as community. This has a lot of merit and that denying this would mean that we are trading along the lines of heresy. I for one am a proponent of thinking church as a community.

But thinking through again, the pull of individualism is strong. Which makes me think that, how much of seeing church as a community am i believing it to be? With all honesty, I believe that the idea is good, the theology is sound but in practice I find that I struggle.

The implication of community warrants that we be accountable to others in how we act and in what we do. I don’t like to always care for others. Being conscious about the things that I do and that it would not offend them, or worse that it does not cause their faith to stumble.

The implication of community also opens us up for rebuke. Because we live in a community, we have to live in authenticity. Although we might try to hide who we really are, living in close proximity with others somehow opens up the real self whether we notice it or not.

The implication of community warrants that we become more proactive in the avenue of caring. When someone is in need being in a community means that we keep an eye on each other, tarry when one is weak, mourn and be in joy with others even if our conditions are on a different plane than others.

And finally, the implication of community slays the lordship of individualism. The lordship that constantly makes us its slave. Makes us love what is contrary to community.

So, although I am a proponent of community, I struggle with individualism. Such irony.

What (Not) to Say in Promoting Jesus and Christianity

Jesus Christ
Image via Wikipedia

1. He loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.

(Paul wasn’t a good messenger of this gospel then-2 Tim 3:2 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted; so too with Peter 1 Peter 2:20-21; and even Jesus himself Mark 8: 34-38)


2. God loves you and will answer your prayer if you pray with faith

(Tell that to Paul where we read in 2 Cor 12:7-10)


3. You are now Overcomers living victorious lives after conversion!

(Obviously John didn’t need to tell us that we should confess to God our sins (1 John 1:9 or that we  should watch out how we live and what we teach 1 Tim 4: 15-16 for this would spell that we must in some way discipline ourselves.)


4. We don’t have to Worry and that If we are on God’s side nothing bad will happen to us.

(Someone should rebuke Peter who wrote 1 Peter which talks about time where their present condition was contrary to what the above description seems to advocate.)

Woman burned alive, kiosk workers refuse to lend fire extinguisher

I just read this rather sad article about a woman, who was trapped in her burning car. Her condition could have been helped had the workers of a nearby petrol kiosk simply lent their fire extinguishers to a passerby who was on the scene of the mishap.

The desperate call of the passerby who wanted to help was met with a cold response to simply call the fire department for help.

It is a frustrating thing to read I have to say. Reading this made me think of the cycle of sin.

The manager of the petrol station mentioned stated “that the attendants’ reluctance may stem from a fear of being robbed, as this was a frequent problem in the past.”

Past mishaps of people crying wolf paved way for a cold response from the petrol kiosk workers. That somehow numbed their senses to the cries of real situations that warranted swift action.

It’s a cycle you see. One thing leads to another. Sin is a cycle and it is a cycle that leads to a cold-hearted outlook on being safe, regardless if the situation calls for it.