feeling like the sunset

An orange/red Sunset viewed from Verbier, Swit...
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This one was written to a tune. I’ll let the words speak for themselves for now. I just miss the feeling of the sunset.

feel the breeze
as the wind
catches your hair
on the warm sandy beach
sometimes memories stay

but like the sunset
spelling beauty
orange red
on the surface
of the blue ocean drifting
into the night

some things were meant to stay
some things were meant to go away
goodbyes are like the sunlight fading
but only a while
for the dawn
will embrace
your face…

all i know

Here’s the link to the song.

at the wake of dawn
held to days undone
in the afternoon sun
warm drops of rain they come

and as the journey unfolds
counting what i have gained

it was not gold
nor riches untold
it was not fame
or rainbows after rain

but all i know is pain
this will remain

console the wounded heart
the cries for one held dear
console the broken one
give to the bread of hope

and as the journey unfolds
counting what i have gained

it was not gold
nor riches untold
it was not fame
or rainbows after rain

but all i know is pain
this will remain

Reflections on Hopeful cynicalism and Realistic expectations

“Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,
and your heart tries to wonder where on this earth I could be,
thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet,
and you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street,
so i’m not moving
i’m not moving”
(The Script: “The man who can’t be moved“)

I have to say that it’s a catchy song and that it somehow expresses the notion of a relentless belief in hope and things would come together. A lot of songs out there hold on to this principle; that some sort of miracle might happen and things will come together kind of vibe to it.

Mariah Carey’s song “Always be my Baby” talks about two people parting ways and the narrator who depicts the emotions of the story says that though separation is inevitable, they will always be part of each other, regardless. The narrator believes this without a doubt, or so it seems to him or her.

But isn’t it ironic that in reality, such stories in real life do not occur as much. I have no statistics to prove this but I do believe that I don’t have to convince anyone of this matter. By simply exaggerating that in reality, only 1% (or maybe slightly higher than that), of what we do find in songs sung on mainstream radio which depicts a “forever” kind of love or waiting, in that they happen in terms of people do actually have stuff like that happening to them. The other truth is the other way round.

Some who go through heart break will eventually move on and those who felt that they will never forget the one who parted will eventually find someone else. Or that the hope of letting go of ones partner and hope they will return never turns out that way in reality. So it does seem to say that there is something faulty in the way songs and lyrics are expressed in a sense.

While, in the space of emotions and longings sprung to life by being sung to music or simply by writing them, projects a reality of hope, reality in the physical realm on the other hand counters it by saying it does not exist. To which we ask the question, “Why do we then love or long to believe what is other than what we encounter in the reality projected by the physical state we live in?”

It does seem like some sort of paradox.

Although I do not have any definitive answer to this, here’s some bits of reflection on how I try to understand this paradox.

Hope is label true in the unseen realms of longing, but on dusty roads of factual reality or lived experience, it seems, hope tussles to lose with it and inside sometimes we make it die if this tussle continues. Sometimes to the point that we can become cynical of anything called hope.

But if we seek to be enlightened to another point of view, on hope that is labeled true in the unseen realms of longing, it should always be held because we know deep down there is such a thing as hope even when reality says “no way.” Because sometimes reality cannot explain why there is hope.

My philosophy, and I’m cynical to anything understood as “happily ever after,” but even if we don’t believe in it, the fact is, we are reacting to a “happily ever after” that is unrealistic. One that avoids the notion of things going awry or tragic. We should seek one that is more grounded, where our hopes and longings understand that there is a realm that reacts against it. But it should not water down or choke away our longings and hopes. It should in a way divert a more realistic passage way of thinking about hope and longing.

So, I think, there is nothing wrong if we do sing and believe that there is such a thing as a relentless pursuit of hope, or as songs always sing out, something called “perfect love,” or simply “a beautiful thing called love.” The only thing we have to change is that, we do have to balance it out with realistic expectations.

In life, I do believe that we don’t really have to side on the extremes of being overtly pessimistic about anything hopeful or on the side that thinks that anything can be triumphed upon. There is a thin line that walks between them, and in someways hold them together.

Life is a paradox; in gazing a beautiful rose and being careful as to not hurt one’s self in the process of trying to get hold of it.

Just is

Sometimes in life
When we tun to the question
Seeking out answers to find.

Of viable leanings
For reasonable answers
Hope to breathing in time

What explanation
Do we give
If beauty resides
Even when
Sometimes prevail
The journey all take inside

To sing even though
In the valley of shadows
Depriving whatever seems calm.

Still there is peace if we
Desire to seek it
Not beyond our grasps to find.

Note: I write some stuff which I put to a tune. This is one of them that came spontaneously after watching something uplifting and some reflection on a statement in my head which went something like this: sometimes we can’t explain any reasonable logic to why we hope, sometimes it just is.” I’m not sure what to call this piece so I’ll just name it “just is.” I’ll probably rename it if I find a better title. I’ll post a recording of the piece later.

moonlight dreams

I wrote this as a song. You can listen to it by going here.

moonlight dreams
under night sky seems
to be all i see
as i drown in steams

would you be a dear
help me gather tears
that have stayed with me
all these years

and i cant take
if they fall again today
like rain drops
filling empty wells
and memories
often disappear

chasing after dreams
that takes away
all of my energy

Come back to

There are too many questions
Playing in my mind today
Sometimes I feel
On the verge of destruction
And there’s no way coming back

Is the place I am right now
I need a hand
To help me to stand
And move along
And say goodbye

It all feels like a dream
All the yesterday’s it seems
But I guess that they were real
If I could only make you feel

There was a time when we were strangers
And a time when love it bloomed
But I guess I’m only dreaming
If the past we’d comeback to.


UPDATE: You can hear how “Shattered” sounds like by going here.

What breaks
will never be mended
Shattered like glass
Always be broken
No room for repair
Repressing the memories
Of all of the feelings
Buried in the grave
They cannot be saved

My walk
will always be restless
The pain has set in
Hope has set sail
Just cherished beginnings
Of what used to be
Now it’s all for nothing
Hope has now ended
When you waked away.

Note: I wrote this in June right about the time of my break up. I was meddling with my guitar trying an open G tuning and somehow the melody sort of birthed the words that made up the song. I’ll probably post it when I can figure out how to convert what I recorded on my GargeBand app. My mind just doesn’t jell when it comes to tech stuff. It has a haunting melody to it to somehow mimic the emotions embedded into the lyrics and tune.

sing me a song

Just hummed this melody while i was..they say inspiration can jump right at you from almost anywhere so this one came while i was doing my business. Well it’s not meant to be perfect but i liked how the word flowed so here is “sing me a song.” I think someone else will be better suited to sing them. So i can supply the words and all that so are there any voices for me to borrow?

sing me a song
when i’m all alone
play out this tune
and ill play with you

i hope that the tears
that fall to the ground
that one day
they will be found

dreams are not made
by waiting alone
placed in the shelter
for safe hands to hold

and i hope that tears
that fall will be found
that one day
emerge from the ground

inside the way we feel

This is a song I wrote. The video quality and recording is not that good but as long as you can hear the song i’m ok with that. And I wish I played piano but the Garage Band app on my iPad has this smart piano function which is cool for those who can’t play the real thing. Here’s the lyrics:

the heat of a warm sunny day
sometimes it all brings me in a haze
i wish conditions change
but forcing
it will not
but we can change inside the way we feel

somedays are just empty and insane
some are plain mundane and looks the same
i wish conditions change
but forcing
it will not
but we can change inside the way we feel

it’s easy
oh so easy
to get swept by tripping on
the things that we cant change

and we cry and we turn
to be lifeless and in return
never moving to discover
the things in life we yearned…

so please make the most of what you have
failures they will come and they will go
you wish conditions change
but forcing it will not
but you can change inside the way you feel


it means the world that you showed
it means the flood had resided
and no more cold and moist surroundings
it means much more than you know


oh oh oh 
i can see the sun coming up again
oh oh oh 
your colors paints away the pain 

as devastation leaves its mark
a pale reminder of the dark
we make our way across the fields
rebuilding more that what we feel

and when its over, now begins
another chapter we live in
across the canvas of the sky
you reminds us we’d get on by

(Wrote this last year in January. It was supposed to be just a poem but a cousin suggested the “oh oh oh” part which I added to what is now the chorus. Just thought of posting for your reading pleasure.)

Update: Here’s the link to my other blog on which I recorded how this poem or lyrics sound being sung to a melody. I hope you’ll be able to listen to it.