Give me

SPECT nuclear imaging of the heart, short axis...
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Give me a heart made of stone
so I cannot feel, be pricked or pierced
So i don’t have to feel pain
pleading in the rain

Give me a heart like towering mountains
When i get hit I stand firm
and unmoved by words
because I could echo them back with the same kind of vengeance

Give me a heart that doesn’t pant
So i can run and not grow tired
and not stop for air because i have to
To outrun the maze this crazy life is into
and scoff at it catching up behind me

Give me a heart that’s unresponsive
in an explosion filled with truckloads of explosives
detonated to annihilate all sense of being
I come unscratched and unfazed
Alive but with a conscious sense of numbness

Give me all that, and i cease to be human
I cease to know a sense of injustice
like something is wrong
Give me all that, and I become less of a person
a walking zombie if you may
a lifeless plague of a being

Give me less pain i say,
I don’t understand it
why boomerang questions unanswered
Sturdy foundations seems like uneven surfaces
hope eludes and feels like no more than pretty fairy tales
A ‘happy ever after’ dilutes reality
like a mirage
it plays with the mind consumed with thirst

So give me…give me
give me less of a person
less of contemplated reason

but then again do i want this?